Okay... here it is... the long awaited update... you'll quickly see why it's taken so long for me to get back to blogging.

Here's a summary of the last few weeks: (PARENTS: Please keep in mind this is a story about Breast Cancer... please screen this blog before deciding if you want your children to read it.)

Tues, June 23: I turned 35.

Thurs, June 25: 2 days after turning 35 I got a mammogram (Thank you Dr. Dawson for instructing me many years ago to start getting mammograms at 35... that advise saved my life.)

Tues, July 7: I had a repeat mammogram and ultrasound done... they informed me they had concerns and wanted to do a biopsy

Fri, July 10: I had a biopsy done on my left breast and a lymph node on the same side

Tues, July 14: The pathology results were in and I got the call from my Ob/Gyn that both biopsy samples were both positive for cancer... I fell to my knees in my office and cried and prayed... and felt the loving arms of my God wrapped tightly around me. I called my parents, my brother, and my best friend Alyson Pope Miller (who lives in Houston)

Wed, July 15: Mom and Dad drove down from Arlington... that afternoon my parents, Alyson, and my brother Nathan all went with me to my appointment with my Surgeon... there were some tears shed, but again the peace of God which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7) was very real to me.

Fri, July 17: Four more biopsies were done... (the pathology results would later show the same kind of cancer that we had already discovered)

Sat, July 18: My small group met for a sweet time of fellowship and prayer with me, my parents, and Alyson. Afterwards, I was in my car driving back to Alyson's house when my car A/C went out... again (it had been in the shop 3 times in the previous 2 months for A/C problems.)

Mon, July 20: I called my brother Nathan and told him I needed a man's help... he went with me to the auto repair shop and I let them know that I couldn't handle the stress of the car and that Nathan would be handling it all (thanks Bubba!)

My mom and Alyson went with me to my first appointment with the oncologist... she spent over 2 hours with us! I have been blessed with an amazing team of compassionate and knowledgeable doctors.

Tues, July 21: Exactly one week after my diagnosis. My mom left that morning to return to Arlington... and I returned to work for the first time in a week. After work I picked up my car from the shop... at NO CHARGE! (the compressor had to be replaced again and I had already paid for it to be replaced in May)

So, I headed home to my apartment to eat dinner before heading to small group... when I walked in the door, things were a mess... it took me a minute to realize that my apartment had been broken into that day while I was at work. My reaction?... "Are you kidding me?!!... No, really, are you KIDDING me?!!!... don't the burglar's know I've just been diagnosed with cancer....and my car A/C has been out the last few days in the 110 degree heat ....and therefore they CAN'T do this to ME!" I quickly scanned the living room to see what was missing... my new laptop my parents had purchased for me just 6 days prior and 2 digital cameras.

Then I looked into the bedroom and saw my big jewelry chest with the drawers pulled out on the floor and all emptied, and immediately I held my breath... 95% of my jewelry is inexpensive and easily replaced, except for a few sentimental pieces including the ring that Alyson and her husband Wayne gave me for my birthday when I first moved to Houston... it had so much sentimental value, especially now since Alyson was by my side at every step of this new journey with cancer in my life. As I walked into my bedroom I feared the ring was gone and said "Oh Lord, NO!" I stepped into the room... and there on my bed was the box that I kept my ring in... I held my breath and opened it... and there was my ring safely inside!!!!!! Immediately I KNEW that God had intervened... the burglar's definitely saw the ring box... they had taken it out of it's drawer, dumped and packed everything else in the drawer to take with them, then picked up the ring box and set it on the bed... and God must have made them forget it or blinded them to it, because there it was. A passage from 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9 came to my mind. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." God is SO faithful in all circumstances... He knew that even though it's just a possession, losing that ring would have crushed my spirit, so He protected it.

I called the police... they came out quickly and the officer informed me there had been several break-ins in my complex recently... not violent crimes, just "crimes of opportunity" where they took things that are easy to carry and sell quickly. I knew that I couldn't deal with the stress of worrying about safety on top of everything else, and that I would be moving. I called Sareca from my small group to let her know I wouldn't make it to group... a few minutes later I got a text from her saying "We're on our way." My sweet sisters-in-Christ came to my apartment and helped me pack to go stay with friends and spent time praying with me.

I never stayed another night at that apartment.

Wed, July 22: I woke up at Alyson's house and got ready for work... I knew I needed to move and didn't have time to find a place, and I knew that my precious friends would welcome me with open arms into their home, and I know that God works ALL THINGS for good, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to live alone throughout all of my treatment, so I told Alyson I was moving in. Right as I was about to leave for work, Alyson's 4-year-old daughter Katie asked me "Mer Mer (the girls' nickname for me), are you going to stay at our house again tonight?" I told Alyson to grab the video camera, and we recorded me telling the girls (Katie and 3-year-old sister Gracie) that I would be living with them... their reaction was PRICELESS!
****SEE THE VIDEO CLIP AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POSTING****

Thurs, July 23: I had an appointment with a fertility specialist... not something I had ever before imagined doing, especially not while single! The thing is, chemo has a tendency to permanently shutdown the ovaries. The doctor told me that after all of my surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and 5 years of Tamoxifen are complete, my chance of getting pregnant will be less than 1%... My IMMEDIATE response to him was "My God is big enough." There's so much more I need to write about the fertility issue and plan but, in the interest of time, for now just know that we're working on it (freezing my eggs) and God is very clearly guiding me through a situation I NEVER saw coming.

Sat, July 25: girls from my small group met me at my apartment and helped me quickly pack everything for the move

Mon, July 27: My appointment with the plastic surgeon (Alyson was there with me for this one too)

Tues, July 28: The movers came to the apartment... one week after the break-in all of my boxes and furniture were out of the apartment and taken to Alyson's house. My amazingly gracious friend stored enough of their furniture to make sure there would be room for me to have my own bed, couch, TV, etc. all set up so I could really feel comfortable and at home during my treatment and recovery.

Wed, July 29: I received my "Prayer Pager" from my church (Second Baptist in Houston). When someone prays for me, they can call my pager # 713-200-0069 and enter their zip code and hit pound(#)... then my pager goes off and shows the zip code.

Now, those of you who know me well are aware that I startle very easily... and that I'm very ticklish... so you can imagine how entertaining it has been for me to wear a vibrating prayer pager on my waist that goes off constantly. :) That being said, I've gotten used to it, so keep the prayers and pages coming!!

Thurs, July 30: Appointment with the radiation oncologist... everything goes well and she prepares me to expect that they will recommend radiation once the pathology results are received from my surgery.

Sun, Aug 2: I gave my testimony in my Sunday School class

Mon, Aug 3: After work I attended a support group for women with breast cancer... and I went home doing the ugly, can't breath, snot dripping, sobbing cry (you ladies know the cry I'm talking about).

As a nurse and a daughter who watched her mom go through breast cancer twice, I know a lot of the milestones that are ahead, but as I sat in that group, I was aware of how young I am in comparison to the other women, and that I don't feel at all like a "sick person." I've been asymptomatic this entire time... the only reason we found the cancer was because of the mammogram... I still feel as healthy and strong as ever.

Let me say that it was SO comforting to know that I was NOT driving home to a lonely one-bedroom apartment. Instead, I was going home to my dear friends. Wayne made an emergency food run for comfort food for me & Alyson gave me a big hug and just listened while I threw a brief "this is not my life" tantrum... then we watched So You Think You Can Dance (great show) and Wayne made me do the Mer Mer belly laugh when he tried to "dance." The tears quickly dried and we ended the night laughing and talking... and I thanked God for the burglary that lead me to the decision to live with my friends.

Thurs, Aug 6: I took the day off to spend at the hospital for a chest xray, bone scan, blood work, and abdominal ultrasound. All of these tests are relatively standard to check for any spread of the cancer... still waiting on official results, but I expect them to be clear.



And that pretty much brings us to today.



THE PLAN:

4 major steps: Surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, more surgery.

Translation: Bye-Bye boobies, lose my hair, get red & irritated skin, then hello upgrade :)


Surgery is Monday 8/17/09 at 7:30am at Houston Northwest Medical Center. I will probably stay in the hospital for 2 nights. I'm scheduled to be off of work for 2 weeks. My parents, of course, will be here and my mom will stay with me in the hospital. I will assign someone to post an update on my blog the day of surgery for you all to read.



Prayer Requests:

1) Continued peace and guidance in this journey

2) Rest and good health this week entering into surgery

3) Strength, rest, and energy for my parents, brother and his family, and Alyson and her family as they rally around me and care for me in the next few weeks

4) Strength for the nurses at work who will be absorbing my patients while I'm away

5) Patience and understanding for Katie and Gracie (ages 4 and 3) as they witness my journey through surgery (Remember I'm a trained play therapist and nurse... God prepared me long ago to be ready to help them through this in age-appropriate ways!)

6) Pray that I have my period after surgery... yes, you just read that right, I said pray for my period, as in menstrual cycle. Stress can cause it to be delayed... and surgery can delay it also... and I need to have it for the fertility treatments before starting chemo.
(Talk about getting personal! I've said throughout this journey "It's God's story to write, I just want to be faithful in telling it." Well, my ability to one day be pregnant is part of God's story, so I'm telling it)


Financial Assistance:
Cancer is expensive. I am very grateful for insurance that will cover the vast majority of the cost. Fertility treatments are not covered by insurance. So far, I’ve paid for the 1st biopsy and co-pays for doctor visits. I know the bills will soon start to add up… I’m just trusting that God has a plan that includes all the financial matters.
I have always been uncomfortable asking for money… even in grade school when I had something to sell for a fundraiser, I dreaded asking for money. I have had a few friends ask recently about helping financially. In order to take the emotion and guilt out of this topic for me (and yes, I know it’s my issue and I need to learn to accept generosity from others), I have appointed my brother Nathan Stedham to be in charge of the “Mer Mer Cancer Fund.” He can be reached by email at Nathan@mirandgroup.com .


Thank you all SO MUCH for your support, prayers, cards, emails, text messages, etc.
I am incredibly blessed!

Meredith
meredithstedham@hotmail.com
(If you need my mailing address, email me and I will send it to you)